Monday I received an email from Peace Corps regarding the details of my staging event. “Staging” is Peace Corps lingo for orientation, and mine happens September 22 in Philadelphia — two days after my invitation originally stated. I’m just fine with that, though, because pushing staging back two days means an extra two days at home, an extra two days to spend with my family, an extra two days to pack — and an extra two days to freak out.
I’ve been incredibly anxious lately, more restless and nervous than apprehensive and worrisome, though. I’ve been wanting to do Peace Corps for quite some time and now that it’s a reality, now that it’s turned from something I thought I might do to something I actually have plans for, an invitation for, and as of Tuesday an actual plane ticket for, I’ve been experiencing a strong mix of excitement and fear. Excitement that I’m going to Tanzania!! That I get to learn a new language. Experience a different culture. Live a different lifestyle. Challenge myself to become an expert in something I feel pretty clueless about. Learn. Grow.
And fear. Oh my goodness, do I get scared sometimes. The things we as humans fear most are the things we know nothing about: it’s the potential of what could be and what could happen, those “what-ifs” that really get to us. And I’m not one to speculate “what if” very often but I do realize that the potential for the next two years to be a disaster is very real. It’s a disaster I’m confident I can avoid, but until I find myself comfortable where I am and in what I am doing that slight hint of fear will remain stuck in my mind. Fear that I won’t be effective as a teacher, fear that I’ll get too homesick, and fear that I won’t relate to anyone in my community. It all amounts to a fear that I will fail as a Volunteer and as a foreigner in another country. And all I want to do in my life is be a foreigner in another country.
The best way to come to terms with these emotions is to confront them head-on, which is why I’ve chosen to be so candid in this post. I’ve been speaking with a few former and current Volunteers these past couple weeks and it’s helped immensely (not to mention some quality time with friends and family, even if it sometimes is over the phone). I had so many questions on what to pack that I started feeling overwhelmed and far too unprepared. A shopping list that began with little more than a backpack has grown by dozens of items, and pricey as it may be I do feel comfort that I’m more prepared, ready to go, that I’ve got a few people to turn to with other questions, and that I’ve got a solid support base at home, here in Austin, in Madison, and in other parts of the country where my closest friends and family reside.
I really appreciate all the support and enthusiasm everyone has given me, and without it I might not be where I am — less than one month away from heading to Tanzania. On Tuesday I confirmed my travel plans as follows:
September 12, move away from Austin (which I do with regret, for I have fallen in love with this city) and fly into Chicago, then drive up to Madison.
September 22, fly from Madison to Philadelphia for a half-day of orientation activities, including registration and expectations, mostly.
September 23, 9:30am, bus from Philadelphia to JFK Int’l Airport.
September 23, 6:00pm, board an eight-hour flight to Zurich. After a 90-minute layover, board a 10-hour flight to Dar es Salaam with one stop in Nairobi. Arrive in Dar at 8:10pm on September 24. That’ll be 12:10pm on the same day for those of you on CDT.
From there I spend about 10 weeks (give or take, I’m not entirely sure just yet) in Dar es Salaam for my training. While I’m not entirely clear on what the training schedule will be comprised of I do know that lessons will focus on language training, health and safety, and cultural adaptation, to name a few. There may also be a time when I spend a couple weeks at a school either in the city or elsewhere, and during my time in Dar es Salaam I’ll be living with a Tanzanian host family.
So the next couple weeks I’ll be wrapping things up in Austin, working a few last shifts, sleeping in a tent on the sundeck of my co-op, drinking far too much coffee, reading a few good books, and stripping my possessions down to the bare minimum — only that which can be brought with me on the flight to Chicago will be kept. Then it’s 10 days in Madison and a couple in Chicago, days which will be spent spending time with family and friends.
